Does your inner critic sabotage your happiness and greatness?
Reflecting on my journaling this morning as part of a 5-day challenge, I realised that one of my biggest struggles has been meeting my inner critic and accepting that I am not the perfect wife, mother, daughter, businesswoman, friend, business partner, writer, healer, gardener, daughter-in-law, sister…
Part of me believed that to be authentic, I had to be perfect. And if I wasn’t perfect, then I wasn’t authentic.
So if i wasn’t foraging for weeds every day, juicing or having a perfect vegie garden, I was not authentic. If I wasn’t fit and lithe, I was inauthentic. If I knew and extolled the virtues of healthy living, but failed to do so, I was inauthentic and a fraud. If my relationships weren’t perfect (whatever that might be!), then I was a fraud. If I wasn’t rolling around in money, I was a failure. If I didn’t have the perfect life, house/home, answer or words, I was … and so the list went on.
The damage this did is that my focus was always on what I didn’t have ‘perfect’ rather than that which was a strength.
I omitted to see what others saw – my confidence to speak to groups, my ability to nut out and solve problems, my positive and sunny outlook, my calmness under pressure, my quick brain and organisational skills, my strong body despite lack of fitness, the joy I find and give writing and teaching, my kindness, sense of humour and ability to see what is important, the skill to hold sacred space so people can grow, a flexible attitude to life, a desire to be a better person and willingness to take responsibility for my own wellbeing.
My choice? To accept.
To accept I am not perfect (and unlikely to be this lifetime) but I am whole.
I have strengths and weaknesses and that’s okay.
In every moment I am whole and I can choose to believe this truth or focus on a dis-belief and leak some of my power and joy.
I know which I choose. How about you?
Unsure what truth you shine? Try these two tips:
What words do your friends use about you?
Often our friends, loved ones, family, clients, or colleagues see us more truthfully than we see ourselves. (Their inner critic is busy working on their self-disesteem not yours!)
Sit quietly and imagine you can see yourself through others’ eyes – what do they see?
Again, others often see our beauty and positive qualities before any perceived faults.
As wise teachers of mine have said:
You are prefect in your imperfection
We are looking for progress not perfection
Let’s embrace our wholeness!